Days 8,9&10
The driver of the roller coaster needs the sack, after lulling me into a false sense of security of feeling a little better, I've spent three days going down the other side of the ride and into a big black hole of feeling utterly pants. I couldn't even bring myself to write a sentence. The days have consisted of nausia, sleep, only really being able to lay down, weepiness, dizziness and being a little confused, wonky hearing and becoming acquainted with hugging the loo - all a bit grim, sorry. This has resulted in today me being put back on a drip over night; reducing several of the drugs I'm on and anitsickness medicine.
On the upside:
1.Dougal is home and gives the best huggles. He cured my teariness.
2. Dad is visiting and has a jolly good suntan.
3.The man with one leg and the caravan has left the main building
3.My jeans most definitely still fit :-) double yay!!
Hopefully I'll be on the mend again soon. x
Friday, 27 July 2012
Tuesday, 24 July 2012
22. On the up
Day 8
By jove, would you believe it, dare I say it, I think I may just be starting to feel a little better. This may be entirely due to having a good nights sleep of course, who knows. The head is still grumbling away but today was the last day of IV steroids (that alone deserves a round of applause and a big glass of wine!) and as from tomorrow the steroids dose gets halved again, which means I can take them in pill form which has to be better, surely? (hope I don't have to eat my words, mind you the munchies have struck today so I may well be eating anything I can get my hands on!). The docs have warned me that when they reduce the dose I'll probably have another "slump", but I can live with that knowing that it's going to pass.
Other breaking news: no platelets required again, count is still up around the 47 mark, woopee.
I still have a face like that of a 5 year old who's sneaked into her mum's makeup bag and experimented with the blusher in the way only a 5 year old can, it's quite a unique look don't you know. Added to this, I found out this evening that whilst I had visitors (including Moo, you're in trouble boy) I sat there with a bogey hanging out my nose for a whole hour before anyone told me. Bright red cheeks, red face and bogey toboot, hmph, Moo started laughing and said he'd noticed it the whole time, you're a horror and I'll get you back matey! Just as well it was very lovely relatives visiting and not a dishy doc, that's all I can say.
I think today has been the hottest day of the year so far. Moo parked his car in the shade this morning, but it had remained in the shade for all of about half an hour I think, so when he set off on his 2 hour drive to visit me this evening, it's black leather seats had been cooking all day long and were registering a temp of 35degrees. No wonder he walked in looking liked he'd burnt his bum and slightly uncomfortable, that's what you get for not telling you sis she's a bogey nose!
I went for a triple stroll round the grounds tonight, there were a few dodgy characters around it has to be said. There were 6 ambulances unloading people, that's the most yet and another ambulance unloading a lady over at the maternity unit. (Still no children with pots on heads to report).
Most peculiar of all though was a mobile home parked in the "20min" short stay drop off point outside the main doors of the hospital. Bearing in mind I walked past this 3 times over about 45 mins, it was very odd. The first time I went past there was a man with one leg in a wheel chair wearing a hospital goonie sitting at the side of the van. Second time past, a lady had appeared out of the van wearing pj's and big fluffy dressing gown. Third time past they were both still there by the van, and another man had appeared. I thought I'd better stop walking past at that point and came back to my little safe haven. I shall have to investigate further in the morning.
During my little jaunts round the hospital grounds it's amazing how bare mens bums I've seen, and all on show right outside the main hospital doors. No need to go and see the Chippendale's, just walk past the entrance to your local hospital! They get wheeled out in their gowns (which open at the back, ofcourse) for a fag and seem to just let it all hang out. Note to self, if I ever have to sit in hospital wheel chair, give it a wipe with a wet one first.
The docs did warn me that the steroids can give you the munchies but so far I haven't really had much of an appetite, until today. I've been so hungry today I could have eaten a horse (haha, do you get it!). I've promised Dougal that there is a box of maltesers here for him so I can't eat them, instead I 've been grazing my way through various things people have brought me in, yum! I sent my bag of washing home with Andy which contains my jeans, the very fact that these I fear will not fit me by the time they come back freshly laundered in a few days will of course have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I've eaten like a horse. I fear Andy may get the blame for shrinking them, what other reason could there possibly be?!
Time for bed, I'm going to employ last nights tactics again and try and outwit Morrocco by getting to sleep before the party starts, fingers crossed.
By jove, would you believe it, dare I say it, I think I may just be starting to feel a little better. This may be entirely due to having a good nights sleep of course, who knows. The head is still grumbling away but today was the last day of IV steroids (that alone deserves a round of applause and a big glass of wine!) and as from tomorrow the steroids dose gets halved again, which means I can take them in pill form which has to be better, surely? (hope I don't have to eat my words, mind you the munchies have struck today so I may well be eating anything I can get my hands on!). The docs have warned me that when they reduce the dose I'll probably have another "slump", but I can live with that knowing that it's going to pass.
Other breaking news: no platelets required again, count is still up around the 47 mark, woopee.
I still have a face like that of a 5 year old who's sneaked into her mum's makeup bag and experimented with the blusher in the way only a 5 year old can, it's quite a unique look don't you know. Added to this, I found out this evening that whilst I had visitors (including Moo, you're in trouble boy) I sat there with a bogey hanging out my nose for a whole hour before anyone told me. Bright red cheeks, red face and bogey toboot, hmph, Moo started laughing and said he'd noticed it the whole time, you're a horror and I'll get you back matey! Just as well it was very lovely relatives visiting and not a dishy doc, that's all I can say.
I think today has been the hottest day of the year so far. Moo parked his car in the shade this morning, but it had remained in the shade for all of about half an hour I think, so when he set off on his 2 hour drive to visit me this evening, it's black leather seats had been cooking all day long and were registering a temp of 35degrees. No wonder he walked in looking liked he'd burnt his bum and slightly uncomfortable, that's what you get for not telling you sis she's a bogey nose!
I went for a triple stroll round the grounds tonight, there were a few dodgy characters around it has to be said. There were 6 ambulances unloading people, that's the most yet and another ambulance unloading a lady over at the maternity unit. (Still no children with pots on heads to report).
Most peculiar of all though was a mobile home parked in the "20min" short stay drop off point outside the main doors of the hospital. Bearing in mind I walked past this 3 times over about 45 mins, it was very odd. The first time I went past there was a man with one leg in a wheel chair wearing a hospital goonie sitting at the side of the van. Second time past, a lady had appeared out of the van wearing pj's and big fluffy dressing gown. Third time past they were both still there by the van, and another man had appeared. I thought I'd better stop walking past at that point and came back to my little safe haven. I shall have to investigate further in the morning.
During my little jaunts round the hospital grounds it's amazing how bare mens bums I've seen, and all on show right outside the main hospital doors. No need to go and see the Chippendale's, just walk past the entrance to your local hospital! They get wheeled out in their gowns (which open at the back, ofcourse) for a fag and seem to just let it all hang out. Note to self, if I ever have to sit in hospital wheel chair, give it a wipe with a wet one first.
The docs did warn me that the steroids can give you the munchies but so far I haven't really had much of an appetite, until today. I've been so hungry today I could have eaten a horse (haha, do you get it!). I've promised Dougal that there is a box of maltesers here for him so I can't eat them, instead I 've been grazing my way through various things people have brought me in, yum! I sent my bag of washing home with Andy which contains my jeans, the very fact that these I fear will not fit me by the time they come back freshly laundered in a few days will of course have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I've eaten like a horse. I fear Andy may get the blame for shrinking them, what other reason could there possibly be?!
Time for bed, I'm going to employ last nights tactics again and try and outwit Morrocco by getting to sleep before the party starts, fingers crossed.
Monday, 23 July 2012
21. Quick off the blocks
Day 7
Woohoo, hold on to your hats, I've been wheeched, whirled, twirled and spun round and round, I feel like I'm at the funfair and just stepping off a particularly vicious go on the waltzers. In actual fact, Andy has taken me for a very sedate 10 mph drive round the hospital grounds with the roof down, I think it's safe to say I wont be driving myself for a wee while! Bummer, I love driving but I shall have to settle for being Lady Panelope until brain function returns to normal.
It's been a very quiet day today, it felt like Morrocco Mole was having a rave in my head last night and invited all his friends round resulting in my head thumping all night long and the upright dozing position had to be resumed which was slightly tedious, (he could have been a bit more considerate and waited until after midnight when I was at least asleep to start the thumping!) but never mind that, I watched the sun come up out the window which brightened everything up.
I've spent most of the day dozing and quietly chilling out. More steroids got pumped in early afternoon again and they really seem to knock me out. Initially the steroids made me feel like the ball in the pin ball machine, zipping and dinging off everything, now it's quite the opposite, more of the slow ball that a toddler rolls down the bowling alley at 0.5mph in a wonky line which bounces off the side stoppers and that you will to make it to the end of the alley. Needless to say my afternoon of snoozing was wonderful, even managed to lie down for it, luxury!
I thought I'd better make the effort to get some fresh air and as usual wondered past casualty (lots happening in there today, no pots on children's heads to report yet though), there were a couple of ambulances emptying people out but I just meandered past and kept my head down concentrating because I wasn't walking in a particularly straight line (it was after the waltzer incident) and I thought they might come and get me, I may have looked slightly drunken and did trip over my foot, doh!
Something unheard of happened the other day and I forgot to tell you. It's a fact, known to all mankind, plain and simple: Moo doesn't walk anywhere quickly. He has one speed, no I stand corrected, two speeds; amble, (and for special occasions such as pipe band competitions) march but that really is only brought out for the pipe band. Well, on Saturday, Moo would have beaten Bolt off the blocks. I have never ever seen anyone remove themselves from a hospital room so quickly in all my life, it really was quite astonishing. I also watched the colour drain from his face like someone drinking a strawberry milkshake through a straw, you know when you see the drink empty down the glass rapidly. What on earth brought this on - blood, guts, human entrails?.........no, the mere sight of two nurses carrying a small blue tray escorted by Stan (the stand). As soon as he clocked the nurses and Stan (who didn't even make it through the second door may I add) he had scooped up is keys, phones and near enough leaped over the bed to get out the room before the platelets appeared, shouting a very quick "see you on Tuesday maybe" as he whizzed past. The nurses did shout after him that he didn't need to go but he was long gone. Lucky they didn't come at the beginning of the visit or it would have been a very quick one Moo :-) x It has now been noted though, I know you can hurry if you have to!
I also found out something quite interesting about my room today. There are 6 side rooms, all very nice, en suite and all that malarkey however the other rooms have one door in and out, my room has two doors in and out which makes it a bit smaller but it doesn't bother me. I had been thinking that maybe they thought I was going to be noisy (couldn't be further from the truth, spend most of the time unconscious!) but I found out today why I have two doors, it's not that I need them, just that this was the empty room when I came. This room has an airlock. It has the ability to be sealed in and create negative pressure so if you have something like swine flu the bugs don't escape. It also has the ability to have special gases pumped into it which you absorbs through breathing, very fancy. Note to self, best behave or they'll gas me, make it the laughing kind please.
Right, I'm going to sleep before Morrocco makes an appearance. Toodlepip.
Woohoo, hold on to your hats, I've been wheeched, whirled, twirled and spun round and round, I feel like I'm at the funfair and just stepping off a particularly vicious go on the waltzers. In actual fact, Andy has taken me for a very sedate 10 mph drive round the hospital grounds with the roof down, I think it's safe to say I wont be driving myself for a wee while! Bummer, I love driving but I shall have to settle for being Lady Panelope until brain function returns to normal.
It's been a very quiet day today, it felt like Morrocco Mole was having a rave in my head last night and invited all his friends round resulting in my head thumping all night long and the upright dozing position had to be resumed which was slightly tedious, (he could have been a bit more considerate and waited until after midnight when I was at least asleep to start the thumping!) but never mind that, I watched the sun come up out the window which brightened everything up.
I've spent most of the day dozing and quietly chilling out. More steroids got pumped in early afternoon again and they really seem to knock me out. Initially the steroids made me feel like the ball in the pin ball machine, zipping and dinging off everything, now it's quite the opposite, more of the slow ball that a toddler rolls down the bowling alley at 0.5mph in a wonky line which bounces off the side stoppers and that you will to make it to the end of the alley. Needless to say my afternoon of snoozing was wonderful, even managed to lie down for it, luxury!
I thought I'd better make the effort to get some fresh air and as usual wondered past casualty (lots happening in there today, no pots on children's heads to report yet though), there were a couple of ambulances emptying people out but I just meandered past and kept my head down concentrating because I wasn't walking in a particularly straight line (it was after the waltzer incident) and I thought they might come and get me, I may have looked slightly drunken and did trip over my foot, doh!
Something unheard of happened the other day and I forgot to tell you. It's a fact, known to all mankind, plain and simple: Moo doesn't walk anywhere quickly. He has one speed, no I stand corrected, two speeds; amble, (and for special occasions such as pipe band competitions) march but that really is only brought out for the pipe band. Well, on Saturday, Moo would have beaten Bolt off the blocks. I have never ever seen anyone remove themselves from a hospital room so quickly in all my life, it really was quite astonishing. I also watched the colour drain from his face like someone drinking a strawberry milkshake through a straw, you know when you see the drink empty down the glass rapidly. What on earth brought this on - blood, guts, human entrails?.........no, the mere sight of two nurses carrying a small blue tray escorted by Stan (the stand). As soon as he clocked the nurses and Stan (who didn't even make it through the second door may I add) he had scooped up is keys, phones and near enough leaped over the bed to get out the room before the platelets appeared, shouting a very quick "see you on Tuesday maybe" as he whizzed past. The nurses did shout after him that he didn't need to go but he was long gone. Lucky they didn't come at the beginning of the visit or it would have been a very quick one Moo :-) x It has now been noted though, I know you can hurry if you have to!
I also found out something quite interesting about my room today. There are 6 side rooms, all very nice, en suite and all that malarkey however the other rooms have one door in and out, my room has two doors in and out which makes it a bit smaller but it doesn't bother me. I had been thinking that maybe they thought I was going to be noisy (couldn't be further from the truth, spend most of the time unconscious!) but I found out today why I have two doors, it's not that I need them, just that this was the empty room when I came. This room has an airlock. It has the ability to be sealed in and create negative pressure so if you have something like swine flu the bugs don't escape. It also has the ability to have special gases pumped into it which you absorbs through breathing, very fancy. Note to self, best behave or they'll gas me, make it the laughing kind please.
Right, I'm going to sleep before Morrocco makes an appearance. Toodlepip.
Sunday, 22 July 2012
20. The bees knees
Day 6
It's the bees knees, the dogs danglies, the mutts nuts and the horses hooves (I made that one up!). I've just tucked into the scrummiest cupcake ever and my goodness it was delicious, just what the doctor ordered. I was delivered a box of cupcakes yesterday in a whole variety of flavours, with glittery sparkly icing on the top and little curly wurly curls, but can you guess which one it was that jumped out at me........the carrot cake one with a nice big orange carrot on the top (I'm not telling you porkies!). It was marvellous, the winner by a nose. The strawberry one was pipped at the post and came a very close second and Andy polished of the scrummy chocolate cake in one fell swoop (well maybe two) whilst visiting me in preparation for his very well deserved night out with his friends in Guildford. The remaining two I have shared with the nurses who have just had to deal with an "aggressive relative". I really felt for them and once security had come down to check all was ok I crept out of my room with what I could offer to console them. They were eternally gratefull and did mention something about a gin or vodka being required. I didn't dare mention that the cake fairy had actually brought in a bottle of beer too, I thought they might evict me! The beer is safefully packed for when I get home and I shall enjoy when I'm back in my own paddock so to speak;-)
It's been a whirlwind two days of visitors, increasing fuzzy headiness and sleepiness. To sum it up, Morrocco Mole has down graded his jack hammer but is still making occassional escape attempts so the thumping headaches have lessened. I have to say they did bring me to tears on nights 3 & 4 but I think that was due to tiredness too.
I can also report that the river Thames is off flood alert and has resumed normal levels. Even better than that, no more weeing into cardboard cowboy hats for me yeehaa! Perhaps I should suggest breeding Dobbin with a Camel next time, that might solve the wee problem.
I've managed to get some fresh air and can go for a meander outside now I'm not hooked up to Stan much, infact I only got hooked up for 30mins today whilst they shoved me full of steroids (methylprednisilone to be precise). I didn't need platelets today which was a total result, platelet count was 54 (normal is 150-400) but for me that's super duper, the highest mine has been since this whole milarky started is 24.
I sat on the bench outside in the sun for a little bit earlier and it was very surreal. Usually the hospital is buzzing with loads of people passing, limping, hobbling etc etc (I have come to the conclusion gammy legs seem to be the biggest inury round here just now!) but come the weekend it turns into a ghost town. It was so quiet and peacefull. I decided that I might see something a bit more exciting over the other side of the hospital at A&E (nothing too terrible, just a child with a saucepan stuck on it's head or something like that), but even that was quiet so I checked out the bikes which conveniently park opposite that entrance, but even that was a bit dull today, just a Suzuki Bandit 1250s.
My fuzzi headiness and memory (or lack of) is definately worse today, yikes! I shall shortly be on a par with Dory the forgetfull (but loveable!) fish in Finding Nemo. Everything feels a bit surreal, it's like i've been freeze framed in a film and everything else continues on round about me while I'm on pause.
In my room there is a very comfy chair, it's not any old chair, it's so special it's even got it's own remote control so you can go from fully lying down to fully standing up with putting in precisely zero effort (well, push your thumb on a button effort). It's great fun and uber comfy. The problem with my chair though, is that occassionally it seems to have a mind of it's own. At the most inopportune moments I suddenly find myself being whizzed up or down, foot rest whizzing out or in unexpectedly. The first time was slightly alarming, I found myself sitting quite happily one minute then being completely horizontal the next and stuck. I thought there was a poltergeist at work but now I'm used to it and as usual it's got nothing to do with a poltergeist or the chair being wonky, it's me! I had put the laptop down on the control, the control is supersensitive and the slightest touch sends it into operation so every time something inadvertantly touches it away it goes, and you never know quite which was it's going to go! Never a dull moment.
Well, can you believe it's taken me nearly 4 hours just to write this and now it's time for bed. I know this blog is a bit disjointed today, no doubt tomorrow's will be even worse but hey ho. I think they said maybe just 5 more days of IV steroids which is what's befuddling my brain. Goodness knows what gobbildygook I'll be writing by then!
ps whilst I remember!!! Huge thankyou for everyones messages, texts, emails, cards, magazines, smelly things (in a nice way ), chocolates, cakes, polos, milkshakes, hot choccies, i tune thingies, grapes, biscuits, stickers, remote controls, flowers and balloons, but most of all for thinking of me. It means the world. x
It's the bees knees, the dogs danglies, the mutts nuts and the horses hooves (I made that one up!). I've just tucked into the scrummiest cupcake ever and my goodness it was delicious, just what the doctor ordered. I was delivered a box of cupcakes yesterday in a whole variety of flavours, with glittery sparkly icing on the top and little curly wurly curls, but can you guess which one it was that jumped out at me........the carrot cake one with a nice big orange carrot on the top (I'm not telling you porkies!). It was marvellous, the winner by a nose. The strawberry one was pipped at the post and came a very close second and Andy polished of the scrummy chocolate cake in one fell swoop (well maybe two) whilst visiting me in preparation for his very well deserved night out with his friends in Guildford. The remaining two I have shared with the nurses who have just had to deal with an "aggressive relative". I really felt for them and once security had come down to check all was ok I crept out of my room with what I could offer to console them. They were eternally gratefull and did mention something about a gin or vodka being required. I didn't dare mention that the cake fairy had actually brought in a bottle of beer too, I thought they might evict me! The beer is safefully packed for when I get home and I shall enjoy when I'm back in my own paddock so to speak;-)
It's been a whirlwind two days of visitors, increasing fuzzy headiness and sleepiness. To sum it up, Morrocco Mole has down graded his jack hammer but is still making occassional escape attempts so the thumping headaches have lessened. I have to say they did bring me to tears on nights 3 & 4 but I think that was due to tiredness too.
I can also report that the river Thames is off flood alert and has resumed normal levels. Even better than that, no more weeing into cardboard cowboy hats for me yeehaa! Perhaps I should suggest breeding Dobbin with a Camel next time, that might solve the wee problem.
I've managed to get some fresh air and can go for a meander outside now I'm not hooked up to Stan much, infact I only got hooked up for 30mins today whilst they shoved me full of steroids (methylprednisilone to be precise). I didn't need platelets today which was a total result, platelet count was 54 (normal is 150-400) but for me that's super duper, the highest mine has been since this whole milarky started is 24.
I sat on the bench outside in the sun for a little bit earlier and it was very surreal. Usually the hospital is buzzing with loads of people passing, limping, hobbling etc etc (I have come to the conclusion gammy legs seem to be the biggest inury round here just now!) but come the weekend it turns into a ghost town. It was so quiet and peacefull. I decided that I might see something a bit more exciting over the other side of the hospital at A&E (nothing too terrible, just a child with a saucepan stuck on it's head or something like that), but even that was quiet so I checked out the bikes which conveniently park opposite that entrance, but even that was a bit dull today, just a Suzuki Bandit 1250s.
My fuzzi headiness and memory (or lack of) is definately worse today, yikes! I shall shortly be on a par with Dory the forgetfull (but loveable!) fish in Finding Nemo. Everything feels a bit surreal, it's like i've been freeze framed in a film and everything else continues on round about me while I'm on pause.
In my room there is a very comfy chair, it's not any old chair, it's so special it's even got it's own remote control so you can go from fully lying down to fully standing up with putting in precisely zero effort (well, push your thumb on a button effort). It's great fun and uber comfy. The problem with my chair though, is that occassionally it seems to have a mind of it's own. At the most inopportune moments I suddenly find myself being whizzed up or down, foot rest whizzing out or in unexpectedly. The first time was slightly alarming, I found myself sitting quite happily one minute then being completely horizontal the next and stuck. I thought there was a poltergeist at work but now I'm used to it and as usual it's got nothing to do with a poltergeist or the chair being wonky, it's me! I had put the laptop down on the control, the control is supersensitive and the slightest touch sends it into operation so every time something inadvertantly touches it away it goes, and you never know quite which was it's going to go! Never a dull moment.
Well, can you believe it's taken me nearly 4 hours just to write this and now it's time for bed. I know this blog is a bit disjointed today, no doubt tomorrow's will be even worse but hey ho. I think they said maybe just 5 more days of IV steroids which is what's befuddling my brain. Goodness knows what gobbildygook I'll be writing by then!
ps whilst I remember!!! Huge thankyou for everyones messages, texts, emails, cards, magazines, smelly things (in a nice way ), chocolates, cakes, polos, milkshakes, hot choccies, i tune thingies, grapes, biscuits, stickers, remote controls, flowers and balloons, but most of all for thinking of me. It means the world. x
Friday, 20 July 2012
19. I'm turning into Dobbin
I think it's fair to say I've been feeling a bit ropey over the past 24 hours. To tell the truth I felt blooming awful but there's light at the end of the tunnel now.
The effects of the steroids wore off quickly and my wide awake phase lasted one night, since then I've been pooped. It's Stan's fault again, well it's good to blame someone (or thing isn't it!). I get hooked up to the ATG (horse serum) around 4pm each day and it's then on a constant drip for 12 hours. That bit's ok, it's the fact that they have to monitor you for those 12 hours constantly doing blood pressure checks, temp checks and pulse checks every hour. It basically means you have very little sleep for the 4 days you're on the ATG. Since today (or rather tonight) is the last night, the sleeplessness has caught up with me. I can't wait to kick Stan out of my room at 5am, you're out of here my friend and hello to some sleep!
Good news, the hives have bogged off and not bothered to come back again, nasty little itchy blighters that they are. Instead I seem to have developed big red cheeks rather like Big Ears had in the Noddy stories. They come up as soon as the ATG starts and last most of the next day. Unique!
In my humble opinion I also seem to have taken on some rather equine like characteristics. I'm not sure if I should share them with you or not, but I think I will, I'm that kind of fillie. They are as follows:
1. I have developed the need to sleep in an upright position. My head hurts so much lying down, (it feels like Morocco Mole is in there with a Jack hammer trying to get out), I quite simply have to sit up and sleep (I use the term "sleep" loosely, far more of the odd 20 min doze). I think this is just due to sheer tiredness.
2. I am producing wee in seemingly horse like quantities (probably too much info there, sorry!). I'm sure the level of the Thames must have risen by at least a foot in the past 24 hours.
3. My tongue looks nowhere near normal, definitely a horse like thing going on there, it's a very odd colour & doesn't look human to me, that's for sure.
Moo has been texting frequently wanting to know how the hair growth is going. In fact, that's the first question all males seem to ask me. I'm thrilled to say there is nothing to report on that front yet (give me a chance, it's only been 3 days). It's a drug called cyclosporine that causes the hair to sprout and I'm only on a half does of that just now, wait til I'm on the full dose! Moo has offered to buy me a hedge trimmer to keep myself neet and tidy, very thoughtful. I said I was sure a bic razor would suffice but he doesn't think it will be up to the job. Thankyou Moo but you know what you can do with your hedge trimmer!! Thankyou also for the offer of bringing me a big juicy apple, naaaay thankyou (some polos wouldn't go amiss though!).
I did manage to learn a few card tricks yesterday, I was very impressed with myself, the only problem is that my goldfish sized memory doesn't seem capable of remembering how to do them for more than a few minutes so unless you walk in the room as I'm practising it's a bit of a let down folks. I will soldier on with them nonetheless. There is an upside to this - when I do get them right it's as much a surprise to me as it is to you:-D
Other things to report:
ps HUGE thankyou to everyone reading my blog. It's a treat to write and I hope you're enjoying it :-) xx
The effects of the steroids wore off quickly and my wide awake phase lasted one night, since then I've been pooped. It's Stan's fault again, well it's good to blame someone (or thing isn't it!). I get hooked up to the ATG (horse serum) around 4pm each day and it's then on a constant drip for 12 hours. That bit's ok, it's the fact that they have to monitor you for those 12 hours constantly doing blood pressure checks, temp checks and pulse checks every hour. It basically means you have very little sleep for the 4 days you're on the ATG. Since today (or rather tonight) is the last night, the sleeplessness has caught up with me. I can't wait to kick Stan out of my room at 5am, you're out of here my friend and hello to some sleep!
Good news, the hives have bogged off and not bothered to come back again, nasty little itchy blighters that they are. Instead I seem to have developed big red cheeks rather like Big Ears had in the Noddy stories. They come up as soon as the ATG starts and last most of the next day. Unique!
In my humble opinion I also seem to have taken on some rather equine like characteristics. I'm not sure if I should share them with you or not, but I think I will, I'm that kind of fillie. They are as follows:
1. I have developed the need to sleep in an upright position. My head hurts so much lying down, (it feels like Morocco Mole is in there with a Jack hammer trying to get out), I quite simply have to sit up and sleep (I use the term "sleep" loosely, far more of the odd 20 min doze). I think this is just due to sheer tiredness.
2. I am producing wee in seemingly horse like quantities (probably too much info there, sorry!). I'm sure the level of the Thames must have risen by at least a foot in the past 24 hours.
3. My tongue looks nowhere near normal, definitely a horse like thing going on there, it's a very odd colour & doesn't look human to me, that's for sure.
Moo has been texting frequently wanting to know how the hair growth is going. In fact, that's the first question all males seem to ask me. I'm thrilled to say there is nothing to report on that front yet (give me a chance, it's only been 3 days). It's a drug called cyclosporine that causes the hair to sprout and I'm only on a half does of that just now, wait til I'm on the full dose! Moo has offered to buy me a hedge trimmer to keep myself neet and tidy, very thoughtful. I said I was sure a bic razor would suffice but he doesn't think it will be up to the job. Thankyou Moo but you know what you can do with your hedge trimmer!! Thankyou also for the offer of bringing me a big juicy apple, naaaay thankyou (some polos wouldn't go amiss though!).
I did manage to learn a few card tricks yesterday, I was very impressed with myself, the only problem is that my goldfish sized memory doesn't seem capable of remembering how to do them for more than a few minutes so unless you walk in the room as I'm practising it's a bit of a let down folks. I will soldier on with them nonetheless. There is an upside to this - when I do get them right it's as much a surprise to me as it is to you:-D
Other things to report:
- Flower production is extensive in between snoozes
- Still no telly, remote controls are still on the blink. Tried batteries and that didn't work. Hope it's fixed in time for the olympics, I'll no doubt want to watch the equestrian events!
ps HUGE thankyou to everyone reading my blog. It's a treat to write and I hope you're enjoying it :-) xx
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
18. Stan and the disruptive patient
18th July Day 2
I've been here a day and a half and I fear I am already the most disruptive patient on the ward. It's not all my fault, I'm blaming Stan. I have Stan to look after, he follows me round everywhere, I frequently trip over him and I keep forgetting about him. Stan is the wheely stand that I have to wheel around wherever I go as it has my drips and whatever gubbins they're putting into me at that precise moment in time on it. The problem is that Stan has a drip machine on it him that needs to be plugged in to the wall most of the time. I just keep forgetting it's plugged in and wondering off causing carnage behind me as the plug gets ripped out the wall socket knocking over full water jugs. I have flooded my room twice today (3 times if the truth be told but I daren't tell the nurses about the third time so I cleaned that up myself). I'm also making full use of the stock of "cowboy hats". No comment on that other than everything is still being measured, what a pain.
I'm also blaming the steroids for my mishaps, despite not going to sleep until 5am and sleeping for approx 3 hours, I've been dinging off the walls today, feeling great and full of beans, I just need to remember that I'm tethered to Stan most of the time! The doctors offered me some sleeping pills, good god man, what on earth would I want one of those for, I've been sleeping for Britain since February, I'm going to relish this novelty of being wide awake 21 hours a day! I've got loads done in my little room today, I've blinged a pair of shoes, made some more fabric flowers, caused carnage for the nurses to clear up (but the less said about that the better), played captain cat on the ipad, phoned a friend, emailed and written my blog. That's at least 3 days worth of things for me usually.
The nurse came in armed with a big long cotton bud earlier and mentioned something about putting it up something to get a sample. I wasn't really listening properly but she soon got my attention:
"you want to put what, where?!?" I asked alarmingly thinking the worst. It was a very VERY long cotton bud she was holding, it could have gone anywhere!
"I just need to swab you for MRSA by putting this cotton bud up your nostril" she explained.
"What, all the way up, how long does my nose look, it'll hit my brain" was my reply.
She smiled, it only had to go about half a centimetre in your nostril then a quick rub on the skin and that was it. I got off very lightly there, judging by the length of that cotton bud it could have been a whole lot worse.
Stan the wheely stand and I had a real dilemma last night. You have to use your imagination here to understand the problem, maybe even get yourself a prop. I'm attached to stan by a line that carries the drugs that's approx 3 feet long. It goes from my picc line on my upper arm through the pump on stan then up to the drippy bag of Dobbins ATG. Moo was sitting at the window (before he nearly fell out it) looking at stan when he came out with
"how are you going to put your pj's on?"
I hadn't given it too much thought until then. The easy option would be to wait until the drip was finished but that wasn't going to be until 4am and I'd need to get changed before then. Sure enough I had to somehow get a dress over my head, along the line and down the stand, along with the various other garments I was wearing. This was going to be tricky. I'd then have to do it all in reverse to get my pj top on. Time to ask the expert, phone a friend, or in my case buzz the nurse for the millionth time. "Ahh yes, this is tricky but it can be done" she said knowingly. At this point Moo decided it was time for him to go, good move Moo. The nurse was right, we got ourselves in a right tangle but got there eventually. I seemed to yet again spend alot of time in the buff, standing there attached by the line to the big muddle of dress, line and stan while she untangled it all. The putting on of the t-shirt was a bit better but we still managed to get in a bit of a fankle with that. I inevitably got a fit of the giggles in the middle of it all.
Once the pj's were on I thought I might watch a bit of telly, the telly had other ideas. There were 3 remote controls, 1 which turned the telly on, the other 2 were identical and were for changing channels, allegedly. These were the most frustrating remote controls in the world. It took several presses of a button to get a response of any sort, and if you were indeed lucky enough to get a response from the telly, it then took a full 10 seconds for the telly to think about changing channel, by which time you'd pressed the button again and it then went shooting past the channel you wanted AARRRGGGGH. I ended up with the telly stuck on Jesus Christ superstar, the original film. It refused to budge from that programme no matter how hard I pressed the buttons, or how close I held it to the telly. I have to admit I may have muttered the words Jesus Christ, but not because of the film on the telly, I might have also mentioned his father a few times (very sorry about that) before I finally gave up on watching any telly at all. Andy took the remotes apart today and gave them a good clean, the diagnosis is a very technical one.....they need new batteries. I have passed this on to staff, maybe a battery will appear tomorrow if I'm lucky. In the meantime no telly, but that doesn't matter, with this new found awakeness there's plenty to be getting on with.
I brought a yoyo in with me but I fear to report it has not been a success, I'm having real problems with it and it's not in any way, shape or form doing remotely what it's suppose to so a change of tact is required as the yoyo has been retired back into the bag. Today Andy brought me a pack of cards. I think I'll try and learn some card tricks from the internet to entertain my visitors, it's the least I can do! Right, better go and search the internet for "card tricks for forgetfull beginners".
I've been here a day and a half and I fear I am already the most disruptive patient on the ward. It's not all my fault, I'm blaming Stan. I have Stan to look after, he follows me round everywhere, I frequently trip over him and I keep forgetting about him. Stan is the wheely stand that I have to wheel around wherever I go as it has my drips and whatever gubbins they're putting into me at that precise moment in time on it. The problem is that Stan has a drip machine on it him that needs to be plugged in to the wall most of the time. I just keep forgetting it's plugged in and wondering off causing carnage behind me as the plug gets ripped out the wall socket knocking over full water jugs. I have flooded my room twice today (3 times if the truth be told but I daren't tell the nurses about the third time so I cleaned that up myself). I'm also making full use of the stock of "cowboy hats". No comment on that other than everything is still being measured, what a pain.
I'm also blaming the steroids for my mishaps, despite not going to sleep until 5am and sleeping for approx 3 hours, I've been dinging off the walls today, feeling great and full of beans, I just need to remember that I'm tethered to Stan most of the time! The doctors offered me some sleeping pills, good god man, what on earth would I want one of those for, I've been sleeping for Britain since February, I'm going to relish this novelty of being wide awake 21 hours a day! I've got loads done in my little room today, I've blinged a pair of shoes, made some more fabric flowers, caused carnage for the nurses to clear up (but the less said about that the better), played captain cat on the ipad, phoned a friend, emailed and written my blog. That's at least 3 days worth of things for me usually.
The nurse came in armed with a big long cotton bud earlier and mentioned something about putting it up something to get a sample. I wasn't really listening properly but she soon got my attention:
"you want to put what, where?!?" I asked alarmingly thinking the worst. It was a very VERY long cotton bud she was holding, it could have gone anywhere!
"I just need to swab you for MRSA by putting this cotton bud up your nostril" she explained.
"What, all the way up, how long does my nose look, it'll hit my brain" was my reply.
She smiled, it only had to go about half a centimetre in your nostril then a quick rub on the skin and that was it. I got off very lightly there, judging by the length of that cotton bud it could have been a whole lot worse.
Stan the wheely stand and I had a real dilemma last night. You have to use your imagination here to understand the problem, maybe even get yourself a prop. I'm attached to stan by a line that carries the drugs that's approx 3 feet long. It goes from my picc line on my upper arm through the pump on stan then up to the drippy bag of Dobbins ATG. Moo was sitting at the window (before he nearly fell out it) looking at stan when he came out with
"how are you going to put your pj's on?"
I hadn't given it too much thought until then. The easy option would be to wait until the drip was finished but that wasn't going to be until 4am and I'd need to get changed before then. Sure enough I had to somehow get a dress over my head, along the line and down the stand, along with the various other garments I was wearing. This was going to be tricky. I'd then have to do it all in reverse to get my pj top on. Time to ask the expert, phone a friend, or in my case buzz the nurse for the millionth time. "Ahh yes, this is tricky but it can be done" she said knowingly. At this point Moo decided it was time for him to go, good move Moo. The nurse was right, we got ourselves in a right tangle but got there eventually. I seemed to yet again spend alot of time in the buff, standing there attached by the line to the big muddle of dress, line and stan while she untangled it all. The putting on of the t-shirt was a bit better but we still managed to get in a bit of a fankle with that. I inevitably got a fit of the giggles in the middle of it all.
Once the pj's were on I thought I might watch a bit of telly, the telly had other ideas. There were 3 remote controls, 1 which turned the telly on, the other 2 were identical and were for changing channels, allegedly. These were the most frustrating remote controls in the world. It took several presses of a button to get a response of any sort, and if you were indeed lucky enough to get a response from the telly, it then took a full 10 seconds for the telly to think about changing channel, by which time you'd pressed the button again and it then went shooting past the channel you wanted AARRRGGGGH. I ended up with the telly stuck on Jesus Christ superstar, the original film. It refused to budge from that programme no matter how hard I pressed the buttons, or how close I held it to the telly. I have to admit I may have muttered the words Jesus Christ, but not because of the film on the telly, I might have also mentioned his father a few times (very sorry about that) before I finally gave up on watching any telly at all. Andy took the remotes apart today and gave them a good clean, the diagnosis is a very technical one.....they need new batteries. I have passed this on to staff, maybe a battery will appear tomorrow if I'm lucky. In the meantime no telly, but that doesn't matter, with this new found awakeness there's plenty to be getting on with.
I brought a yoyo in with me but I fear to report it has not been a success, I'm having real problems with it and it's not in any way, shape or form doing remotely what it's suppose to so a change of tact is required as the yoyo has been retired back into the bag. Today Andy brought me a pack of cards. I think I'll try and learn some card tricks from the internet to entertain my visitors, it's the least I can do! Right, better go and search the internet for "card tricks for forgetfull beginners".
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
17. Khazi capers & cowboy hats
Tuesday 17 July. Day 1.
I have blotches, very ITCHY blotches (aka hives) courtesy of Dobbin. The last time I was this itchy was during a camping episode on the west coast of Scotland - the mecca of all midges - in an open doored tent. The little blighters had me for breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, supper, midnight feast, secret middle of the night snack and then came back for seconds. I'm delighted to report so far there have been no earth tremors in the vicinity of St. Richards hospital (which could be caused as a result of me getting the shakes which so far I've avoided) so the news to date is good, if a little (or a lot) itchy :-D
I arrived in hospital at 9am and after Andy and I had a game of Captain Cat on the new whizzy present, I went through to the day unit. Although I'm staying for a few weeks the room wasn't ready on the ward so I'll spend the day in there then move to my room in the evening. I was weighed (never good, that alone is bad for your health, I'm convinced) and hooked up to an ECG machine (not prepared for that, a poor choice of clothes this morning resulted in a near full monty ECG strip for me, booooo. Lesson learned: never wear a dress and muggers (tights) for an ECG. N
Next up was getting hooked up to IV steroids and antihistamines, oh, and they threw in a few paracetamols for good measure. This was followed by a bag of the rolls Royce platelets which I have to say did look superior to the ones I've had before. It's a funny thing because blood usually has to match your blood type,platelets, although they are part of your blood are different and don't have to come from the same blood group. My platelets today came from A+ blood; I'm o+ but these were the best match. Very big thank you to Mr & Mrs A+ platelet donors out there, you're keeping me going :-)
Platelets were followed by a test dose of Dobbins Serum (ATG) to check for reactions including anaphylactic shock - they had the adrenaline on standby, I kid you not! After that it was more steroid and antihistamine drips in prep for the full dose of Dobbin. All that took until 3 pm believe it or not. This was not because I misbehaved and re-enacted the scene from Pulp Fiction where she had to get her heart started by John Travolta, no, not nearly as exciting, it was because my blood pressure kept falling, how boring. They decided to hook up a litre saline on my drip to increase my fluids and push the blood pressure up, however this low blood pressure malarkey had dire consequences..... I wasn't allowed out of bed and had to use a COMMODE!!!!nightmare. Give me a nudey ECG any day!! At one point the nurse did start talking to me about fifty shades (she was on book 3) which sent my blood pressure up but I quickly changed the subject before any of the machines started beeping at me.
Some people need to wee a lot, some people don't, until today I fell into the later category of managing hours on end with no problem, but today it all changed. This is partly due to the fact that they're putting so many fluids into me via lines and partly because of the drugs. In short, it's making me wee a lot, and given that I have now been instructed to use a commode in the day clinic with a curtain round me, I think it would be fair to say this is not the time for my bladder to give up the ghost! The nurse disappears off to find a commode, meanwhile I've to cross my legs, (hang on, I'm not allowed to do that in bed as it causes clots, I got a terrible telling off for doing that) uncross my legs and just hang on. Eventually the grand blue throne appears, getting wheeled through the clinic for all to see. Actually, I don't think anybody was that bothered other than me, but I did have to be in the bed at the far side of the ward didn't I. The curtain is drawn round the bed, (that one action alone raises everyone's suspicions) you always wonder what's happening behind the closed curtain, now I have expanded my knowledge, I know 1 thing that happens, a great big wee! There are a couple of ladies sitting literally 2 feet away on the other side, I just don't know if I can perform now under this sort of pressure. I'm already scarlet at the thought of having to do this, the nurse helps me up as she's scared I'm going to pass out and then I dismiss her to the other side of the curtain, but she suddenly shouts hang on and appears back, she'd forgotten to put the brake on. A khazi with brakes, that is very important, I was seconds away from potential embarrassment in front of the whole ward, zooming out on a khazi from the curtain mid flow, Mr Bean would have been proud. Brakes were well and truly applied, audience dismissed (i.e. the nurse)et voila, mission accomplished, only because the ladies on the other side of the curtain talked extra loud and non stop. Thank you chatty ladies.
Relief, for all of about an hour then the whole thing was repeated again, then again. I ensured the brakes were on each time. Because all the potions can effect your kidneys they have to monitor all your fluids going in and out, yes all of them. This is so easy for men. When I'm moved to the room the nurse remembers this, no more commode (thank god!) but she just mentions something about hats. I've not a clue what she's on about but soon find out. I'm presented with what are effectively upside down cowboy hats, and several of them. Smashing. I've to "let them know when I've used one and they'll come and collect it. We need to measure all your fluids". Needless to say my buzzer is red hot and my cowboy hat stock dwindling rapidly.
I've moved into my room and have a great big window with a view to a little court yard that's filled with planters. Best of all I can see the top of a swooshing tree, I love trees blowing in the wind, there's something very soothing about it. Moo and Andy have popped in to inspect me, no excess hair growth to report yet, give me a chance boys! Moo has nearly passed out several times at the sight of my picc line and had to sit looking away a lot (you big Jessie !) then when I moved to my room he sat on the window sill and preceded to nearly fall out the window when he leaned against it not realising it was opened slightly. I laughed a lot.
Its now 4am and I'm still awake, for one simple reason - for the last 4 hours I've been covered in hives and as far as i'm concerned they've had their fun and now the itchy little lumps can bugger off where they came from. Dobbin, you've a lot to answer for! Right, I shall attempt an itchy kip and report back later. Toodlepip.
I have blotches, very ITCHY blotches (aka hives) courtesy of Dobbin. The last time I was this itchy was during a camping episode on the west coast of Scotland - the mecca of all midges - in an open doored tent. The little blighters had me for breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea, supper, midnight feast, secret middle of the night snack and then came back for seconds. I'm delighted to report so far there have been no earth tremors in the vicinity of St. Richards hospital (which could be caused as a result of me getting the shakes which so far I've avoided) so the news to date is good, if a little (or a lot) itchy :-D
I arrived in hospital at 9am and after Andy and I had a game of Captain Cat on the new whizzy present, I went through to the day unit. Although I'm staying for a few weeks the room wasn't ready on the ward so I'll spend the day in there then move to my room in the evening. I was weighed (never good, that alone is bad for your health, I'm convinced) and hooked up to an ECG machine (not prepared for that, a poor choice of clothes this morning resulted in a near full monty ECG strip for me, booooo. Lesson learned: never wear a dress and muggers (tights) for an ECG. N
Next up was getting hooked up to IV steroids and antihistamines, oh, and they threw in a few paracetamols for good measure. This was followed by a bag of the rolls Royce platelets which I have to say did look superior to the ones I've had before. It's a funny thing because blood usually has to match your blood type,platelets, although they are part of your blood are different and don't have to come from the same blood group. My platelets today came from A+ blood; I'm o+ but these were the best match. Very big thank you to Mr & Mrs A+ platelet donors out there, you're keeping me going :-)
Platelets were followed by a test dose of Dobbins Serum (ATG) to check for reactions including anaphylactic shock - they had the adrenaline on standby, I kid you not! After that it was more steroid and antihistamine drips in prep for the full dose of Dobbin. All that took until 3 pm believe it or not. This was not because I misbehaved and re-enacted the scene from Pulp Fiction where she had to get her heart started by John Travolta, no, not nearly as exciting, it was because my blood pressure kept falling, how boring. They decided to hook up a litre saline on my drip to increase my fluids and push the blood pressure up, however this low blood pressure malarkey had dire consequences..... I wasn't allowed out of bed and had to use a COMMODE!!!!nightmare. Give me a nudey ECG any day!! At one point the nurse did start talking to me about fifty shades (she was on book 3) which sent my blood pressure up but I quickly changed the subject before any of the machines started beeping at me.
Some people need to wee a lot, some people don't, until today I fell into the later category of managing hours on end with no problem, but today it all changed. This is partly due to the fact that they're putting so many fluids into me via lines and partly because of the drugs. In short, it's making me wee a lot, and given that I have now been instructed to use a commode in the day clinic with a curtain round me, I think it would be fair to say this is not the time for my bladder to give up the ghost! The nurse disappears off to find a commode, meanwhile I've to cross my legs, (hang on, I'm not allowed to do that in bed as it causes clots, I got a terrible telling off for doing that) uncross my legs and just hang on. Eventually the grand blue throne appears, getting wheeled through the clinic for all to see. Actually, I don't think anybody was that bothered other than me, but I did have to be in the bed at the far side of the ward didn't I. The curtain is drawn round the bed, (that one action alone raises everyone's suspicions) you always wonder what's happening behind the closed curtain, now I have expanded my knowledge, I know 1 thing that happens, a great big wee! There are a couple of ladies sitting literally 2 feet away on the other side, I just don't know if I can perform now under this sort of pressure. I'm already scarlet at the thought of having to do this, the nurse helps me up as she's scared I'm going to pass out and then I dismiss her to the other side of the curtain, but she suddenly shouts hang on and appears back, she'd forgotten to put the brake on. A khazi with brakes, that is very important, I was seconds away from potential embarrassment in front of the whole ward, zooming out on a khazi from the curtain mid flow, Mr Bean would have been proud. Brakes were well and truly applied, audience dismissed (i.e. the nurse)et voila, mission accomplished, only because the ladies on the other side of the curtain talked extra loud and non stop. Thank you chatty ladies.
Relief, for all of about an hour then the whole thing was repeated again, then again. I ensured the brakes were on each time. Because all the potions can effect your kidneys they have to monitor all your fluids going in and out, yes all of them. This is so easy for men. When I'm moved to the room the nurse remembers this, no more commode (thank god!) but she just mentions something about hats. I've not a clue what she's on about but soon find out. I'm presented with what are effectively upside down cowboy hats, and several of them. Smashing. I've to "let them know when I've used one and they'll come and collect it. We need to measure all your fluids". Needless to say my buzzer is red hot and my cowboy hat stock dwindling rapidly.
I've moved into my room and have a great big window with a view to a little court yard that's filled with planters. Best of all I can see the top of a swooshing tree, I love trees blowing in the wind, there's something very soothing about it. Moo and Andy have popped in to inspect me, no excess hair growth to report yet, give me a chance boys! Moo has nearly passed out several times at the sight of my picc line and had to sit looking away a lot (you big Jessie !) then when I moved to my room he sat on the window sill and preceded to nearly fall out the window when he leaned against it not realising it was opened slightly. I laughed a lot.
Its now 4am and I'm still awake, for one simple reason - for the last 4 hours I've been covered in hives and as far as i'm concerned they've had their fun and now the itchy little lumps can bugger off where they came from. Dobbin, you've a lot to answer for! Right, I shall attempt an itchy kip and report back later. Toodlepip.
16. Pre something or anothers
Monday 16th July
It's been a funny old day, quite literally but before I tell you about today I've got the weekend to recount in brief, well, what I can remember of it. Moo graced us with his presence on Friday night because he was having something delivered to the house on Saturday morning which he said I would like a lot. Sure enough the postie appeared early doors with a parcel. Moo stayed with us for a month or so when he moved down to London and to say thank you has bought "the family" a thank you treat. You turned up trumps this time Moo, brothers totally rock. :-) I'm writing this from my hospital bed on the families new toy, I'll give you a clue what it is......it begins with an i and I'm using it just now (although i cant get any of my formatting to work in this programme so apologies that its all running into one huge paragraph and that there's a zillion typos, it's the touch screen not me!).Big bro has pulled one out the bag too, Dougal is having a wicked time on holiday on Isla, swimming, sand surfing, playing cricket and eating a lot of cake by all counts so big thanks to big bro.
Anyway, enough of that, I came in for pre something or another checks on Monday only to find out my consultant has gone on holiday for two weeks, which is fine, I just wish she had told me. It did make me have a minor panic attack but it's all ok. I'm under the care of dishy doctor Bevan now. I know some swoon over him (and I think he may do some swooning in the mirror each morning himself) but he's not my cup of tea as far as swooning goes, he seems quite nice though. Not sure he's got my sense of humour, I think he just thinks I'm a bit dippy...... Oh, point taken. He talked us through everything and that was that (the treatment, not the swooning!). He did tell me that I would be having platelet transfusions each day, but they were HLA platelets. I looked at him like he was talking gobbledygook gook (i may have an msc but i teach 5 year olds and my brain is puggled right now so simple words please,)and he simplified it for me......rolls Royce platelets, range rover vogue platelets don't you know, in short, super duper ones that are as good a match as you can get. That's more like my kind of explanation, very very simple.
Andy cooked me a scrummy tea, once I'd managed to find the book where I write all my fave recipes and decided on one (that took a while), then the bag packing commenced. Its hard to know what to bring, so in my case, most things and I decided if I couldn't look great I could at least smell nice so I bunged my favourite Molton Brown shower stuff in the bag too along with 4 sets of jimjamaroonies (pjs) few comfy dresses, jeans, tracky bums, kindle, phone etc etc. May as well be going on holiday, I suspect I have over done it a bit. (understatement of the year) And that was it, my last night at home for a while. Ps v sorry about formatting of this, will fix it when I have my laptop again, I forgot it!!
It's been a funny old day, quite literally but before I tell you about today I've got the weekend to recount in brief, well, what I can remember of it. Moo graced us with his presence on Friday night because he was having something delivered to the house on Saturday morning which he said I would like a lot. Sure enough the postie appeared early doors with a parcel. Moo stayed with us for a month or so when he moved down to London and to say thank you has bought "the family" a thank you treat. You turned up trumps this time Moo, brothers totally rock. :-) I'm writing this from my hospital bed on the families new toy, I'll give you a clue what it is......it begins with an i and I'm using it just now (although i cant get any of my formatting to work in this programme so apologies that its all running into one huge paragraph and that there's a zillion typos, it's the touch screen not me!).Big bro has pulled one out the bag too, Dougal is having a wicked time on holiday on Isla, swimming, sand surfing, playing cricket and eating a lot of cake by all counts so big thanks to big bro.
Anyway, enough of that, I came in for pre something or another checks on Monday only to find out my consultant has gone on holiday for two weeks, which is fine, I just wish she had told me. It did make me have a minor panic attack but it's all ok. I'm under the care of dishy doctor Bevan now. I know some swoon over him (and I think he may do some swooning in the mirror each morning himself) but he's not my cup of tea as far as swooning goes, he seems quite nice though. Not sure he's got my sense of humour, I think he just thinks I'm a bit dippy...... Oh, point taken. He talked us through everything and that was that (the treatment, not the swooning!). He did tell me that I would be having platelet transfusions each day, but they were HLA platelets. I looked at him like he was talking gobbledygook gook (i may have an msc but i teach 5 year olds and my brain is puggled right now so simple words please,)and he simplified it for me......rolls Royce platelets, range rover vogue platelets don't you know, in short, super duper ones that are as good a match as you can get. That's more like my kind of explanation, very very simple.
Andy cooked me a scrummy tea, once I'd managed to find the book where I write all my fave recipes and decided on one (that took a while), then the bag packing commenced. Its hard to know what to bring, so in my case, most things and I decided if I couldn't look great I could at least smell nice so I bunged my favourite Molton Brown shower stuff in the bag too along with 4 sets of jimjamaroonies (pjs) few comfy dresses, jeans, tracky bums, kindle, phone etc etc. May as well be going on holiday, I suspect I have over done it a bit. (understatement of the year) And that was it, my last night at home for a while. Ps v sorry about formatting of this, will fix it when I have my laptop again, I forgot it!!
Saturday, 14 July 2012
15. T-2 and counting
It's T - 2 and counting. When I got home this afternoon there was a message from Doc Janes (my consultant) to say the ATG has arrived and is in the building, it's go go go for Tuesday. I still have to go in on Monday for pre something or another, (I've forgotten what, no surprise there then) and I have the choice of staying on Monday night or having one last night at home before being admitted properly and going in again early Tuesday morning. It's not a difficult decision, given the choice I think anyone would rather snuggle in their own uber comfy bed and under half a tonne of duck feathers rather than in a hospital bed with a sheet. I also need to get the big sticky plaster changed on my picc line on Monday but it's no longer a problem due to the special magic non stick coating they put on first, but even better than that , I've got some stickers for being brave during plaster changes (courtesy of the tooth doc), how good is that, it's totally made my day :-D
Some people have asked me what the docs measure in my blood and what's wonky with it. They measure all sorts of stuff but the bits they tell me about regularly are:
platelets: they do the clotting and prevent bruising and bleeding
neutrophils: part of your white cells and your immune system
haemoglobin: carries oxygen round the body
Normal count for women My Count at diagnosis
haemoglobin: 11.8-14.8 7.6
neutrophils: 1.7-6.1 0.7
platelets: 150-400 20
I think my neutrophil count currently is hovering around the 1.0 mark so it's improved a bit. Haemoglobin count improves with a transfusion temporarily, just now it's about 6 weeks between transfusions and platelet count seems to be pretty constant at around 24, it just means I need to be REALLY careful not to cut myself and try to not get bumps and bruises, - that's rugby, kite surfing and bull fighting out for this season then!
I'm pooping my pants, cacking my kecks and a whole manner of other things you do when you're worried. I'd be telling fibs if I didn't say I was a little bit petrified about going in to hospital. The fact that the nurses told me the whole treatment was quite stressful for them didn't help but so far the hospital have been super duper and I have every faith in them. Until February the only time I'd ever been in hospital was for 2 days when Dougal was born. I never do things by halves so would expect no less of myself than to go from a quick weekend break to a full on full board fortnight to 3 weeks in there!
I've been reading my Aplastic Anaemia booklet again, for the millionth time. The bit that always gets me is on the very first page. It says:
"Until about 1980 the disease had a fearsome reputation but now, thanks to the greatly improved means of support and treatment, 70 - 80% of patients should recover."
Well, thank goodness for that is all I have to say!! The ATG has a 70% chance of working first time round. If it doesn't work first time, there still a high chance it will work second time round or indeed after that. It's not a gloomy outlook at all anymore, in fact it's quite a positive one. I remember Doc Janes telling us the first time we saw her that we could probably pretty much right off the best part of a year, looks like she was right, there's definitely no quick fix with this but at least there's light at the end of the tunnel. We'll have to wait about 3 months to find out if the ATG treatment is working. If it is, it can then take up to a year for blood counts to recover to some degree.
To take my mind of things I've been busy cluttering up the house creating "stuff" as the boys would say. I've made a giant floor cushion and some fabric flowers which don't require any water which is cool as I always forget to top up real flowers. Andy likes houseplants but now only has cactus plants as they're the only thing that seem to survive without water for a few weeks at a time when he's offshore. I can't be relied on to remember to water anything other than Dougal and myself!
Here's my "stuff", have a look and see what you think.
Tomorrow is bag packing day, hmmm, I shall have to give that some thought. Now there's a thing, before I can pack the red bag I shall have to remember where I've put it, now that might take a while.....
Thursday, 12 July 2012
14. Fluffity dumpling
I have some excellent news to report:
1. The baking ban is lifted. Moo is coming to stay this weekend and I need to bake him some melting moments. I'm also going to the dentist so I'll make them some too.
2. I have solved my pj dilemma. Good old M&S came to my rescue today.
3. Sticky plaster problem is resolved. Hospital have some magic stuff they put on before the plaster that makes it not hurt when they take it off. I must remember to suggest stickers to them too, I'd quite like a sticker for being brave.
4. Picc line has gone up in my estimations and has moved from the realms of extreme dislike to "I don't really mind it now".
5. Normal music taste has returned. Not sure what the 80's rock the other day was all about, back to normal now though, phew!
6. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, Dobbin has come up with the goods and I have a date for going in to hospital, woohoo.
All very exciting if I do say so myself.
The house is very quiet, Dougal is having the best time ever on holiday with my big bro, his wife and cousin Millie. They've had three days at Legoland (including staying in the Legoland hotel which has lego shaped chips apparently, he was v. excited about those!). I'm going to owe my big bro big time due to the fact that Dougal has decided he is roller coaster fan. Andrew (big bro) has spent the last three days being green and accompanying Dougal on rollercoasters all day long. He's also decided the rides that simply whizz you, spin you and turn you round aren't quite enough, the ones that get you soaking wet at the same time are even better. Not only has Andrew been green for three days, he's also been soaking wet by all accounts. (lucky escape for me there then!). Dougal has purchased a new cuddly turtle called Squirtle (love the name) to add to the squillion other cuddly toys on the bed, but I haven't met Squirtle yet. They've now all gone up to Scotland to go on holiday for another week to Isla. Dougal doesn't like the hospital and despite the fact I'm missing him loads, it's better that he's having a blast with his cousin and getting up to all sorts of mischief rather than having to come and see me in hospital next week.
Before Dougal went we were sitting on the big green seat. The big green seat is no ordinary seat, oh no, it's the comfiest seat in the house and when you sit in it it swallows you up so you can't get out of it again. It's round, tilts ever so slightly backwards, is big enough for a big person and Dougal and can spin round..it's a waltzer seat. I don't very often get to sit on the Waltzer seat as the boys have a monopoly on it, this is because it's in the playroom which doubles up as the movie watching room at nightime. The first two in get the whizzy green chair, third one gets the bean bag (booo) and that's usually me. To be fair, I don't very often watch films. Anyway, Dougal and I were sitting together when he completely out of the blue turned to me and said
"Mummy, you're a fluffity dumpling"
I said " Thanks poppet, that's a lovely thing to say"
I thought about what he'd said and Dougal carried on watching telly. I thought a fluffity dumpling sounds like something nice, cuddly, fluffy and somebody you'd like to snuggle up with, that was my take on it anyway. But I was wondering if that was an 8yr old boys take on it too.
A few minutes later I asked Dougal "What exactly is a fluffity dumpling?"
Dougal: "well, a dumpling's kind of huge and so are you". He said it so matter of factly.
"Dougal, that's not very nice" I said with a wounded look on my face.
Dougal thought about it for a minute then placated himself with "well, I think you get medium sized dumplings too".
Note to self: remember not to ask children for clarification on something you think sounds nice. Accept it as a compliment without question and move on!
I have toothache, that's not a good thing to have when you're about to go into hospital for a few weeks to get your immune system suppressed. I now have visions of not only having horse hairy legs as a result of the drugs I'm about to be given, but also having half a face that looks like a balloon that needs a good shave. My tooth doc has had an SOS visit and has been a superstar and is going to fix it for me tomorrow. I had to check with hospital that it was ok for me to get a certain kind of injection at the tooth docs, I almost wish I hadn't asked. They've given me 3 bottles, yes 3 bottles of transxamic acid to swoosh round my mouth and swallow in preparation for the dentist visit. Yeuch. You know how I thought the Tutti frutti barium stuff was yucky, compared with this it was heavenly.
Can you believe that whilst writing this I have thought of two more things to add to my list of news at the top of the page, but in the time it's taken me to scroll back up to the top to write them down I've forgotten them. It's really quite annoying. At least my brain could have the decency to let me forget that I'd even remembered something in the first place!
I'm trying very hard to remember any other news of significance. I did mention my memory problem with the docs when I was in hospital yesterday and they said not to worry, apparently being anaemic can make you pretty scatty. Well before I forget I've written this I shall go and post the link. Over and out for now.
1. The baking ban is lifted. Moo is coming to stay this weekend and I need to bake him some melting moments. I'm also going to the dentist so I'll make them some too.
2. I have solved my pj dilemma. Good old M&S came to my rescue today.
3. Sticky plaster problem is resolved. Hospital have some magic stuff they put on before the plaster that makes it not hurt when they take it off. I must remember to suggest stickers to them too, I'd quite like a sticker for being brave.
4. Picc line has gone up in my estimations and has moved from the realms of extreme dislike to "I don't really mind it now".
5. Normal music taste has returned. Not sure what the 80's rock the other day was all about, back to normal now though, phew!
6. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, Dobbin has come up with the goods and I have a date for going in to hospital, woohoo.
All very exciting if I do say so myself.
The house is very quiet, Dougal is having the best time ever on holiday with my big bro, his wife and cousin Millie. They've had three days at Legoland (including staying in the Legoland hotel which has lego shaped chips apparently, he was v. excited about those!). I'm going to owe my big bro big time due to the fact that Dougal has decided he is roller coaster fan. Andrew (big bro) has spent the last three days being green and accompanying Dougal on rollercoasters all day long. He's also decided the rides that simply whizz you, spin you and turn you round aren't quite enough, the ones that get you soaking wet at the same time are even better. Not only has Andrew been green for three days, he's also been soaking wet by all accounts. (lucky escape for me there then!). Dougal has purchased a new cuddly turtle called Squirtle (love the name) to add to the squillion other cuddly toys on the bed, but I haven't met Squirtle yet. They've now all gone up to Scotland to go on holiday for another week to Isla. Dougal doesn't like the hospital and despite the fact I'm missing him loads, it's better that he's having a blast with his cousin and getting up to all sorts of mischief rather than having to come and see me in hospital next week.
Before Dougal went we were sitting on the big green seat. The big green seat is no ordinary seat, oh no, it's the comfiest seat in the house and when you sit in it it swallows you up so you can't get out of it again. It's round, tilts ever so slightly backwards, is big enough for a big person and Dougal and can spin round..it's a waltzer seat. I don't very often get to sit on the Waltzer seat as the boys have a monopoly on it, this is because it's in the playroom which doubles up as the movie watching room at nightime. The first two in get the whizzy green chair, third one gets the bean bag (booo) and that's usually me. To be fair, I don't very often watch films. Anyway, Dougal and I were sitting together when he completely out of the blue turned to me and said
"Mummy, you're a fluffity dumpling"
I said " Thanks poppet, that's a lovely thing to say"
I thought about what he'd said and Dougal carried on watching telly. I thought a fluffity dumpling sounds like something nice, cuddly, fluffy and somebody you'd like to snuggle up with, that was my take on it anyway. But I was wondering if that was an 8yr old boys take on it too.
A few minutes later I asked Dougal "What exactly is a fluffity dumpling?"
Dougal: "well, a dumpling's kind of huge and so are you". He said it so matter of factly.
"Dougal, that's not very nice" I said with a wounded look on my face.
Dougal thought about it for a minute then placated himself with "well, I think you get medium sized dumplings too".
Note to self: remember not to ask children for clarification on something you think sounds nice. Accept it as a compliment without question and move on!
I have toothache, that's not a good thing to have when you're about to go into hospital for a few weeks to get your immune system suppressed. I now have visions of not only having horse hairy legs as a result of the drugs I'm about to be given, but also having half a face that looks like a balloon that needs a good shave. My tooth doc has had an SOS visit and has been a superstar and is going to fix it for me tomorrow. I had to check with hospital that it was ok for me to get a certain kind of injection at the tooth docs, I almost wish I hadn't asked. They've given me 3 bottles, yes 3 bottles of transxamic acid to swoosh round my mouth and swallow in preparation for the dentist visit. Yeuch. You know how I thought the Tutti frutti barium stuff was yucky, compared with this it was heavenly.
Can you believe that whilst writing this I have thought of two more things to add to my list of news at the top of the page, but in the time it's taken me to scroll back up to the top to write them down I've forgotten them. It's really quite annoying. At least my brain could have the decency to let me forget that I'd even remembered something in the first place!
I'm trying very hard to remember any other news of significance. I did mention my memory problem with the docs when I was in hospital yesterday and they said not to worry, apparently being anaemic can make you pretty scatty. Well before I forget I've written this I shall go and post the link. Over and out for now.
13. Rusty knobs
It’s official, I have the memory span of a goldfish, and a forgetful one at that. Last night I went to bed and when I woke up this morning I still had half my clothes on. My first thought was am I hungover but I can confirm no alcohol was in involved. I was shattered last night and obviously just gave up half way through getting ready for bed. Looking on the bright side, better it happen that way round, better I forget to get undressed last night rather than dressed this morning. I’m sure the hospital staff would be admitting me to the bonkers bit of the hospital if I’d turned up only half clothed today.
I had a transfusion and it went well. I was sitting with a little group of people, they were all having chemo. You'd think it would be a bit of a glum place but it was a real giggle this time. I am the youngest there by quite a way. This time I was in the presence of Hyacinth Bucket (well, her real name was Beryl but she was just like Hyacinth and was also accompanied by her long suffering husband). Beryl had been a dinner lady before she retired and proceeded to tell us all sorts of things, the highlight of which was that "you stop your knobs going rusty by putting a rubber glove on them". Those were Beryls exact words. The rest of us looked at each other, got a fit of the giggles and eventually asked her to clarify.....she was talking about door knobs. Her other tips are unrepeatable :-)
I’m putting down my shocking
memory to my rubbish blood just now. I’m
usually a bit dippy at the best of times but this has taken it to a whole new
level. I forget what I’m saying half way
through a sentence and I forget what I’m thinking as I’m thinking it. I don’t think that’s good is it. Anyway, it
doesn’t hurt so I wont worry about it. I
have to say it’s a bit of a struggle to write my blog as each time I sit down
to write it I’ve forgotten what I was going to tell you. It’s also playing
havoc with everyday stuff. Last week I
lost my bank card, spent ages remembering what shops I’d been in, phoning them,
then phoning the bank to cancel my card.
My new card arrived a couple of days later but it then took me 3 more days
to remember my pin number, only to then find my original bank card in my wallet
playing hide and seek behind the sainsburys card – I’d put it in the wrong
slot. Why? I havent’ a scoobydoo but what a pain in the
bum. As Homer Simpson would say “DOH!!”
Along with the ditzy forgetfulness I also seem to be
sleeping more than I’m awake just now. I’d
even go as far to say I’ve progressed from the realms of a couch potato to a
bed banana and I’m cold most of the
time. Whilst the rest of the family are
hot at night time sleeping in nothing but boxers and on top of the downie, I’m
fully kitted up in jammies (when I remember to get undressed!)hot water bottle
and the biggest tog downie you can imagine.
Over the winter the fact that I was always cold became a standing joke
in the house. Eventually Andy bought me
the warmest fluffiest duck feather filled downie he could find. Hopefully after today and a transfusion I
will return to the realms of being warm again.
The tiredness is a funny thing, it creeps up on you when you
least expect it like a bad dose of chicken pox.
Now that really did take me by surprise when Dougal got it. We were at Gatwick airport sitting on a plane
when I noticed a red dot on his neck.
There was only one so I didn’t give it too much thought. Within an hour there were several more but by
that time we were in Glasgow and disembarking.
Only a couple of hours earlier I’d got him dressed and there had
definitely been no spots then. These
were the SAS of spots, hiding in the undergrowth, operating in stealth mode
waiting for the most inopportune moment to reveal themselves:
Spot Command: “This is spot command calling all camouflage
spots, are you receiving - over”
Spot 1: “Spot Command
this is spot 1, receiving you loud and clear - over”
Spot Command : “Spot one, target has entered plane, is sitting down
and buckled in. Commence stage one of
the operation.”
Spot 1: “Roger that spot command, stage 1 of operation is
complete. Initial reveal has commenced”
Spot Command: “Spots 2, 3 & 4, come in, are you
receiving? Over”
Spots 2, 3 & 4: “Roger that Spot Command, we are
receiving, over”
Spot Command: “Spot 2, 3 & 4 initiate reveal phase 2,
over”
And so it went on. Spot after spot started to pop up over
the next few hours.
I did have the dilemma, as we were about to take off, do I
stop the flight and get off? It seemed a
bit extreme, at this point Dougal had one spot and I wasn’t sure what it was. Kids get funny rashes quite often so I put it
down to one of those odd things. When we
got off the plane an hour later and back to the car there were 5 or 6 more
spots and by the evening he was covered.
Of all the days to get chicken pox, day one of the holiday. Anyway, that's a bit like my tiredness, I can be busy in the middle of doing something and it hits me unexpectedly and takes me by surprise, I just have to stop and go to bed. It's not for a little 15 minute power nap either, this is for a good old fashioned 3 hours of uninterrupted unconsciousness. It does make the day go quickly though. Lucky for me that last time the sleepy phase struck right in the middle of the ironing, now that was a result!
Sunday, 8 July 2012
12. Dobbin and the sticky plaster
Brussel sprouts. There's not many things I hate in life, infact there's only one - brussel sprouts. Midges come a close second, those wee blighters are a pain in the bum it has to be said, and the thing taking third place just now on my list of dislikes is my picc line but before I harp on about that I have some good news to report:
1. The baking ban is going well. I can categorically most definitely undeniably confirm that no baking has taken place in this house over the past 7 days. I have however made crispy cakes, refrigerator cake and chocolate moose but they don't count, they don't involve baking!
2. I have cancelled my bulk order of cling film with Tesco and I'm doing my bit to save the planet. I no longer require endless reems of the clingy stuff. I would love to say this is because I don't have my picc line anymore, but alas the little purple blighter is still stuck in my arm. I have however purchased a "limbo". It's a revalation. Instead of having to use half a roll of cling film and cut off my circulation to have a wash, I now have a tube to put my arm in which seals with wet suit material at the top and bottom and is waterproof in the middle. It's quite simply brilliant. It's just like pulling on a sleeve and does exactly what it says on the packet....keeps a bit of my arm dry.
I visited hospital on Wednesday to get my picc line x-rayed. I was really hoping it wasn't going to be in the right place as I had a deal with the consultant, if it was in the wrong position I could have it removed, however, if it had managed to wiggle itself into the right position I would keep it in. An x-ray was required to confirm this. I went through the usual rigmarol which has become all too familiar. Last time, there was only Mr Monday and Wayne Sleep in the waiting room, this time it was choca-block, there was hardly an empty seat. There were people sitting with legs in stookies, arms in slings and a whole manner of other odd looking ailments. I sat myself down and prepared to have a long wait. What do you do to amuse yourself when you're waiting? After surveying the surroundings and playing cards on my phone for a bit I decided to have a think and this is the question I came up with:
If you were in a group of people and you were to think of a word what would that word be? The only catch is that it has to be a word that no-one else will think of. Hmmmm, tricky, there are so many words to choose from. I came up with 3 words in the following order
1. coloquialism (I impressed myself with that one)
2. bamboo (I just like the word, it's nice to say!)
3. nincompoop (equivelant of scottish word eejit)
and as nincompoop entered my head I heard "Would Miss McMaster come this way please". The entire waiting room turned to look at me as I was the last one in and had waited the shortest amount of time. There was no hanging around and I practically sprinted out the waiting area hopping over the various body parts sticking out and in my way before someone threw a crutch at me. I don't know why I got called before everyone else but I didn't complain. It was the usual procedure of stripping off and gowning up, get flashed , zappity zap and that was that. Then back to see the consultant to get the results. Booooo, the picc line was in the perfect position so I lost the deal, it stays. This meant I had to endure the torture of getting the dressing changed and the picc line flushed.
Now, here's a thing. I only have one memory of ever having a sticky plaster on my knee during my childhood. I reckon I know why my mum never ever put another plaster on me again, I'm the biggest baby in the world when it comes to removing them. The lovely Pete (who grows strawberries, doesn't like going on holiday and put my picc line in) changed it last time and he was brilliant. I can honestly say it didn't hurt much, so I shouldn't have been bothered about it this time. However, I knew it was going to hurt because last time the nurse had forgotten to put some special stuff on my arm which prevents your skin getting pulled when they remove the plaster. This didn't bode well. The nurse walked towards me with the tray of bits and bobs.
"Hi Ailsa, I'm here to flush your picc and change your dressing today" is what she actually said. The words that I heard in my head were somewhat different:
"Hi Ailsa, I'm here to very slowly pluck each individual hair out of your arm, one at time and then peel a layer of skin off".
I know this is ridiculous but I really am a woose when it comes to taking sticky things off my arm, or any other part of my body! I once got my legs waxed, once was enough for me. I don't know what they did but when they removed the wax from my legs it left me with big red stripes on my legs for days. Never, ever again. This isn't just a small plaster either, it's mahoosive, hang on a minute and I'll measure it.......6" x 4.4" and every single bit of it is sticky. It's like a big sticky clear plastic window. I did warn the nurse that she'd been given the short straw and that I was a big jessie. She was very nice and did her best but as predicted I was a very big baby and had big fat tears rolling down my cheeks half way through, and when the big spongy thing with fake tan coloured antiseptic on it got splatted on my arm my silent tears turned into sobs. It really really stings. It shouldn't sting but my arm has had a reaction to the plaster and is itchy and sore. Needless to say she disposed with the antiseptic pronto. The fact that I had an audience of 2 older ladies and one older gentleman didn't help matters. I made sure she put on the non-sticky coating this time before applying the new plastic window plaster. I have to go through this once a week for as long as I have the picc line. I go in on Monday to have it changed again and I have just about already peeled the whole thing off myself in preparation, I think I may get into a spot of trouble for that.
Whilst I've been waiting to hear about the ATG availability I've been doing a spot of research which is always dangerous. I've found out ATG is made by a Canadian pharmaceutical research company called Pfizer. I've sent them an email asking them the name of the horse the ATG is extracted from. I shouldn't think for one minute they'll reply and tell me (although I don't see why not, it's not like I'm asking for his inside hoof measurement or anything) but I just thought it would be nice to know it's name as just now, in my mind, he's called Dobbin and I'm sure that's not really very fitting.
Whilst finding out about their research and ATG I came across some guidelines Pfizer published for "physicians administering ATG". I should have stopped there....but I didn't, I read it. I don't think I should have. One cheery bit of info I did extract is that a high proportion of people will suffer from "rigors" during their hospital stay. Now, I don't know what rigors are (well I do now, but I didn't when I read it). The only "rigor" I know is rigor mortis and that's when your brown bread so it's not that. Turns out it's shaking, I'm going to get the shakes and shivers. This may sound bad but I've got a good take on it. I'm thinking this may be a good thing and here's why. In the gym there is a great big vibration plate machine. People pay alot of money to stand on it and let all their bits wibble wobble around like a jelly. Personally I can think of nothing worse in the gym than have people see all your bits wibble wobble. They're only allowed to stand on it for 10 or 15 mins but it's suppose to work wonders. I'm thinking that without having to parade round the gym I'm going to get a dose of the shakes for alot longer than 10 - 15 mins and all for free. This is going to do wonders for my waisltine and nobody will have to see me impersonating a depraved jelly, fantastic.
I've read stories of people who've had transplants suddenly having likings for things they've never liked before, but it turns out to be something the donor person liked. I'm beginning to wonder if this happens with blood transfusions, I had a sudden urge to listen to 80's rock the other day. Whitesnake, Bonjovi, Deaf Leapord, Kiss, Guns n' Roses, VanHalen and Aerosmith eat your heart out. I've got a great back catalogue now! I wonder if I can request to have blood from someone who doesn't like chocolate next time please?
1. The baking ban is going well. I can categorically most definitely undeniably confirm that no baking has taken place in this house over the past 7 days. I have however made crispy cakes, refrigerator cake and chocolate moose but they don't count, they don't involve baking!
2. I have cancelled my bulk order of cling film with Tesco and I'm doing my bit to save the planet. I no longer require endless reems of the clingy stuff. I would love to say this is because I don't have my picc line anymore, but alas the little purple blighter is still stuck in my arm. I have however purchased a "limbo". It's a revalation. Instead of having to use half a roll of cling film and cut off my circulation to have a wash, I now have a tube to put my arm in which seals with wet suit material at the top and bottom and is waterproof in the middle. It's quite simply brilliant. It's just like pulling on a sleeve and does exactly what it says on the packet....keeps a bit of my arm dry.
I visited hospital on Wednesday to get my picc line x-rayed. I was really hoping it wasn't going to be in the right place as I had a deal with the consultant, if it was in the wrong position I could have it removed, however, if it had managed to wiggle itself into the right position I would keep it in. An x-ray was required to confirm this. I went through the usual rigmarol which has become all too familiar. Last time, there was only Mr Monday and Wayne Sleep in the waiting room, this time it was choca-block, there was hardly an empty seat. There were people sitting with legs in stookies, arms in slings and a whole manner of other odd looking ailments. I sat myself down and prepared to have a long wait. What do you do to amuse yourself when you're waiting? After surveying the surroundings and playing cards on my phone for a bit I decided to have a think and this is the question I came up with:
If you were in a group of people and you were to think of a word what would that word be? The only catch is that it has to be a word that no-one else will think of. Hmmmm, tricky, there are so many words to choose from. I came up with 3 words in the following order
1. coloquialism (I impressed myself with that one)
2. bamboo (I just like the word, it's nice to say!)
3. nincompoop (equivelant of scottish word eejit)
and as nincompoop entered my head I heard "Would Miss McMaster come this way please". The entire waiting room turned to look at me as I was the last one in and had waited the shortest amount of time. There was no hanging around and I practically sprinted out the waiting area hopping over the various body parts sticking out and in my way before someone threw a crutch at me. I don't know why I got called before everyone else but I didn't complain. It was the usual procedure of stripping off and gowning up, get flashed , zappity zap and that was that. Then back to see the consultant to get the results. Booooo, the picc line was in the perfect position so I lost the deal, it stays. This meant I had to endure the torture of getting the dressing changed and the picc line flushed.
Now, here's a thing. I only have one memory of ever having a sticky plaster on my knee during my childhood. I reckon I know why my mum never ever put another plaster on me again, I'm the biggest baby in the world when it comes to removing them. The lovely Pete (who grows strawberries, doesn't like going on holiday and put my picc line in) changed it last time and he was brilliant. I can honestly say it didn't hurt much, so I shouldn't have been bothered about it this time. However, I knew it was going to hurt because last time the nurse had forgotten to put some special stuff on my arm which prevents your skin getting pulled when they remove the plaster. This didn't bode well. The nurse walked towards me with the tray of bits and bobs.
"Hi Ailsa, I'm here to flush your picc and change your dressing today" is what she actually said. The words that I heard in my head were somewhat different:
"Hi Ailsa, I'm here to very slowly pluck each individual hair out of your arm, one at time and then peel a layer of skin off".
I know this is ridiculous but I really am a woose when it comes to taking sticky things off my arm, or any other part of my body! I once got my legs waxed, once was enough for me. I don't know what they did but when they removed the wax from my legs it left me with big red stripes on my legs for days. Never, ever again. This isn't just a small plaster either, it's mahoosive, hang on a minute and I'll measure it.......6" x 4.4" and every single bit of it is sticky. It's like a big sticky clear plastic window. I did warn the nurse that she'd been given the short straw and that I was a big jessie. She was very nice and did her best but as predicted I was a very big baby and had big fat tears rolling down my cheeks half way through, and when the big spongy thing with fake tan coloured antiseptic on it got splatted on my arm my silent tears turned into sobs. It really really stings. It shouldn't sting but my arm has had a reaction to the plaster and is itchy and sore. Needless to say she disposed with the antiseptic pronto. The fact that I had an audience of 2 older ladies and one older gentleman didn't help matters. I made sure she put on the non-sticky coating this time before applying the new plastic window plaster. I have to go through this once a week for as long as I have the picc line. I go in on Monday to have it changed again and I have just about already peeled the whole thing off myself in preparation, I think I may get into a spot of trouble for that.
Whilst I've been waiting to hear about the ATG availability I've been doing a spot of research which is always dangerous. I've found out ATG is made by a Canadian pharmaceutical research company called Pfizer. I've sent them an email asking them the name of the horse the ATG is extracted from. I shouldn't think for one minute they'll reply and tell me (although I don't see why not, it's not like I'm asking for his inside hoof measurement or anything) but I just thought it would be nice to know it's name as just now, in my mind, he's called Dobbin and I'm sure that's not really very fitting.
Whilst finding out about their research and ATG I came across some guidelines Pfizer published for "physicians administering ATG". I should have stopped there....but I didn't, I read it. I don't think I should have. One cheery bit of info I did extract is that a high proportion of people will suffer from "rigors" during their hospital stay. Now, I don't know what rigors are (well I do now, but I didn't when I read it). The only "rigor" I know is rigor mortis and that's when your brown bread so it's not that. Turns out it's shaking, I'm going to get the shakes and shivers. This may sound bad but I've got a good take on it. I'm thinking this may be a good thing and here's why. In the gym there is a great big vibration plate machine. People pay alot of money to stand on it and let all their bits wibble wobble around like a jelly. Personally I can think of nothing worse in the gym than have people see all your bits wibble wobble. They're only allowed to stand on it for 10 or 15 mins but it's suppose to work wonders. I'm thinking that without having to parade round the gym I'm going to get a dose of the shakes for alot longer than 10 - 15 mins and all for free. This is going to do wonders for my waisltine and nobody will have to see me impersonating a depraved jelly, fantastic.
I've read stories of people who've had transplants suddenly having likings for things they've never liked before, but it turns out to be something the donor person liked. I'm beginning to wonder if this happens with blood transfusions, I had a sudden urge to listen to 80's rock the other day. Whitesnake, Bonjovi, Deaf Leapord, Kiss, Guns n' Roses, VanHalen and Aerosmith eat your heart out. I've got a great back catalogue now! I wonder if I can request to have blood from someone who doesn't like chocolate next time please?
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
11. Cling film and the baking ban
I love Scottish words. They have the ability to sum up a situation or feeling in one word, which in another language would take several e.g.
glaikit: daft, stupid, slow on the uptake
wheesht: be quiet
bahooky: bum
blether: have a chat
crabbit: bad tempered
droochit: soaking wet
mochit wee beastie: dirty little tyke
There is one word which can sum up how I've felt over the past couple of days: - "scunnered", totally and utterly scunnered (fed up). I've been moping around like a sulky teenager. I knew I was a bit disappointed on Friday when the hospital told me my ATG treatment was postponed but I didn't think it would bother me this much. In short, I seem to have got the right hump about it. It's not like me to feel like this and I need to snap out of it. As they'd say in Scotland "awa and gie yersel a shake".
I've also had to put myself on a baking ban. In my wardrobe (or any females wardrobe for that matter) there are a lot of clothes in various sizes. I reckon the average female has at the very minimum clothes in 2 different sizes (if they tell you different they're telling you a whopper), it's not unusual to have 3 different sizes. In my wardrobe the thin clothes are at one end and the medium sized clothes at the other. All the fat clothes were taken out and put in a pile to make room from my nice thin clothes earlier in the year, before Aplastic Anemia so rudely made an appearance. Since February I've had to stop doing my circuit training which I had been doing 3 times a week and I've generally not had much energy. Coming up to transfusions, just going up the stairs leaves me breathless because my haemoglobin levels are very low. This lack of exercise has resulted in an expanding waistline. In fact, it's expanded it's way right out the wardrobe and back into the fat pile of clothes again and if I'm not careful I'm going to shortly be expanding my way right out of the fat pile. So, in an effort to avoid this I am on a baking ban.
Moo came to stay on Sunday which really cheered me up, after I had peeled myself off the ceiling because he crept up on me and said "boo". I got such a fright which he of course found highly amusing and spent a good 10 minutes in fits of laughter. My response was to wallop him with the pillow I had in my hand at the time (I was making his bed for him when he crept up on me), that's brothers for you. I got my own back though, I thought he'd be quite eager to see my picc line after all his text messages and you tube comments but when it actually came to it he wasn't so sure, in fact he was a great big woose. He was sitting down at the computer, I told him not to be such a jessie and rolled my sleeve up. He had a quick look, went a funny shade of grey and told me to put it away. I'm glad he was sitting down because he's a bit of a big lump to have to catch if he'd passed out!
I do have something to celebrate.......I managed to wrap my arm in clingfilm, hoorah! I wasn't really sure how to go about this so I got the roll of cling film, sat down on the stool and started to wrap it round. It was a tad tricky to start but after a few wraps I was well on my way. The only problem I had was knowing when to stop. I made sure it was pretty tight, after all it needs to be waterproof. I reckon I probably had around 10 wraps on in the end that went from my wrist to my arm pit (slightly excessive, I know, the picc and all it's bits are only about 4") but I wanted to be sure. I also made sure it was very tight, so tight in fact that when I checked it in the mirror I had given myself a muffin top arm! (there's a first time for everything). Marvellous, off to the shower to test out my waterproofing capabilities. All was well until I tried to wash my hair which involved having to bend my cling film arm,....it was impossible. I was like a person with a stookie (plaster cast) on their arm, you know, those people you see in the pub with a broken arm and a pint that they can't actually drink! My hair was washed one handed, I found out that's do-able. The moment of truth came, had my waterproofing worked? It took a while to unwrap my 10 layers but I can report underneath was in fact dry. Mission accomplished. I must remember to add cling film to the shopping list, I think I may be going through quite a bit of it.
I have come to another conclusion regarding my picc line. I reckon it must have been invented by a man. I have very sound and sensible reasoning that has led me to this conclusion ......it's colour. The picc line is purple. I think a female would have been far more considerate with the colour, there is no way a female would have picked purple for this plastic tube that you are going to be wearing for the foreseeable future. There are about 4" of tube on the outside of my arm (16" or 40cm on the inside but you can't see that) and as far as I'm concerned it looks like a big varicose vein, revolting I know, but true. A female would have been sure to think of this and select an alternate colour scheme. Black or blue would be no good either, they too could look like dodgy veins of some sort, red would be too gruesome and green would make you look like an alien. White would be a bit yucky and orange would clash with too many clothes. I have the answer, it should be rainbow coloured, yes, nice multicoloured stripes, that's cheery and there'd be no chance of it getting mistaken for a gory vein. I shall suggest this on my next hospital visit which is tomorrow.
I have to go into hospital to have another chest xray to see if my picc line has managed to wiggle it's way into the right spot. With a bit of luck I wont break the machine this time. I wonder if they will have any news on the ATG front, probably not yet.
It's now the end of Tuesday and I have indeed given myself a right good talking too. Two friends have lost a parent in the past week and this has brought me back down to earth with a thump. I really have nothing to be complaining about. My ATG delay is a minor setback and nothing more.
Instead of baking I've thrown myself into creating things, sewing and making stuff. Blue Peter eat your heart out. In particular I made some fabric flowers which I've given to my very lovely friend who is retiring from teaching. I took them to her today and her face lit up, they really made her smile. Making people smile makes me happy and has chased away my blues. In addition to this good news, my list of entrepreneurial ideas is expanding, so far it consists of:
1. burkas in different colours
2. multicoloured stripey tubes for arms
Right, I'm off to add a large roll of cling film to the shopping list before I forget:-)
glaikit: daft, stupid, slow on the uptake
wheesht: be quiet
bahooky: bum
blether: have a chat
crabbit: bad tempered
droochit: soaking wet
mochit wee beastie: dirty little tyke
There is one word which can sum up how I've felt over the past couple of days: - "scunnered", totally and utterly scunnered (fed up). I've been moping around like a sulky teenager. I knew I was a bit disappointed on Friday when the hospital told me my ATG treatment was postponed but I didn't think it would bother me this much. In short, I seem to have got the right hump about it. It's not like me to feel like this and I need to snap out of it. As they'd say in Scotland "awa and gie yersel a shake".
I've also had to put myself on a baking ban. In my wardrobe (or any females wardrobe for that matter) there are a lot of clothes in various sizes. I reckon the average female has at the very minimum clothes in 2 different sizes (if they tell you different they're telling you a whopper), it's not unusual to have 3 different sizes. In my wardrobe the thin clothes are at one end and the medium sized clothes at the other. All the fat clothes were taken out and put in a pile to make room from my nice thin clothes earlier in the year, before Aplastic Anemia so rudely made an appearance. Since February I've had to stop doing my circuit training which I had been doing 3 times a week and I've generally not had much energy. Coming up to transfusions, just going up the stairs leaves me breathless because my haemoglobin levels are very low. This lack of exercise has resulted in an expanding waistline. In fact, it's expanded it's way right out the wardrobe and back into the fat pile of clothes again and if I'm not careful I'm going to shortly be expanding my way right out of the fat pile. So, in an effort to avoid this I am on a baking ban.
Moo came to stay on Sunday which really cheered me up, after I had peeled myself off the ceiling because he crept up on me and said "boo". I got such a fright which he of course found highly amusing and spent a good 10 minutes in fits of laughter. My response was to wallop him with the pillow I had in my hand at the time (I was making his bed for him when he crept up on me), that's brothers for you. I got my own back though, I thought he'd be quite eager to see my picc line after all his text messages and you tube comments but when it actually came to it he wasn't so sure, in fact he was a great big woose. He was sitting down at the computer, I told him not to be such a jessie and rolled my sleeve up. He had a quick look, went a funny shade of grey and told me to put it away. I'm glad he was sitting down because he's a bit of a big lump to have to catch if he'd passed out!
I do have something to celebrate.......I managed to wrap my arm in clingfilm, hoorah! I wasn't really sure how to go about this so I got the roll of cling film, sat down on the stool and started to wrap it round. It was a tad tricky to start but after a few wraps I was well on my way. The only problem I had was knowing when to stop. I made sure it was pretty tight, after all it needs to be waterproof. I reckon I probably had around 10 wraps on in the end that went from my wrist to my arm pit (slightly excessive, I know, the picc and all it's bits are only about 4") but I wanted to be sure. I also made sure it was very tight, so tight in fact that when I checked it in the mirror I had given myself a muffin top arm! (there's a first time for everything). Marvellous, off to the shower to test out my waterproofing capabilities. All was well until I tried to wash my hair which involved having to bend my cling film arm,....it was impossible. I was like a person with a stookie (plaster cast) on their arm, you know, those people you see in the pub with a broken arm and a pint that they can't actually drink! My hair was washed one handed, I found out that's do-able. The moment of truth came, had my waterproofing worked? It took a while to unwrap my 10 layers but I can report underneath was in fact dry. Mission accomplished. I must remember to add cling film to the shopping list, I think I may be going through quite a bit of it.
I have come to another conclusion regarding my picc line. I reckon it must have been invented by a man. I have very sound and sensible reasoning that has led me to this conclusion ......it's colour. The picc line is purple. I think a female would have been far more considerate with the colour, there is no way a female would have picked purple for this plastic tube that you are going to be wearing for the foreseeable future. There are about 4" of tube on the outside of my arm (16" or 40cm on the inside but you can't see that) and as far as I'm concerned it looks like a big varicose vein, revolting I know, but true. A female would have been sure to think of this and select an alternate colour scheme. Black or blue would be no good either, they too could look like dodgy veins of some sort, red would be too gruesome and green would make you look like an alien. White would be a bit yucky and orange would clash with too many clothes. I have the answer, it should be rainbow coloured, yes, nice multicoloured stripes, that's cheery and there'd be no chance of it getting mistaken for a gory vein. I shall suggest this on my next hospital visit which is tomorrow.
I have to go into hospital to have another chest xray to see if my picc line has managed to wiggle it's way into the right spot. With a bit of luck I wont break the machine this time. I wonder if they will have any news on the ATG front, probably not yet.
It's now the end of Tuesday and I have indeed given myself a right good talking too. Two friends have lost a parent in the past week and this has brought me back down to earth with a thump. I really have nothing to be complaining about. My ATG delay is a minor setback and nothing more.
Instead of baking I've thrown myself into creating things, sewing and making stuff. Blue Peter eat your heart out. In particular I made some fabric flowers which I've given to my very lovely friend who is retiring from teaching. I took them to her today and her face lit up, they really made her smile. Making people smile makes me happy and has chased away my blues. In addition to this good news, my list of entrepreneurial ideas is expanding, so far it consists of:
1. burkas in different colours
2. multicoloured stripey tubes for arms
Right, I'm off to add a large roll of cling film to the shopping list before I forget:-)
Sunday, 1 July 2012
10. Boffity buff
I'm not sure I really like rollercoasters and this one I've been on for the past 4 months seems to be taking me on one hell of a ride. Just when you think you know where you're going it plummets into the dark and takes an unexpected turn.
I'm baking, again. I haven't got rid of all the cakes from the last baking episode yet and here I am making more. The brownies went in the bin but I'm not surprised, I had a wee disaster with them. Moo was staying and had very kindly made a lasagna for which I was very graterful - I love baking but I hate cooking. The only problem was that he had made the lasagna in my brownie dish and at that precise moment in time I had a bowl full of brownie mix and no dish to bake it in. I hurridly put the lasagna on a plate and washed the stone dish quickly. The mixure got bunged in the dish and I thought nothing more about it while it baked. Once ready Dougal was waiting to sample the Brownies. "These taste a bit funny mummy" he said. "Oh don't be daft, it's the same recipe I always use" I replied.
Dougal was right, these brownies most definitely had a certain lasagna flavour to them. I obviously hadn't washed the dish properly and some of the lasagna flavour had remained in the stone pores. One word - yuck. I don't think Mr Kipling will be adding Lasagna Brownies to his product line anytime soon. No one is now allowed to use my brownie dish except me.
The lemon drizzle cake I took over the fence to the dentists surgery and the melting moments I fed to Moo but there's still some in the cupboard. The big chocolate cake has nearly been eaten and there's now another lemon drizzle cake adorning the work top. Today I'm going to make a big whopper of a chocolate cake and take it to the dentist surgery again. He's a superduper tooth doc and all the girls in the surgery are fab. Do you know the best thing about my dentist? He doesn't ask you questions and expect an answer when you have your mouth wide open. He tells lots of jokes and best of all he rides a motorbike. Not only does he ride it, he has a book in the waiting room with photos of all the patients he's taken out for a ride on his bike. When I'm better I'm going to go for a ride too but with a bit of luck it will be on my own bike. Andy, if you're reading this, deep breaths and keep breathing, I promise I wont crash this one!
I've been looking forward to today, not because I'm going to the hospital yet again (to get my picc checked), but because I've been doing this sewing course and today is the day I'm going to finish my giant floor cushion. I have nowhere to put it when it's finished but that's a minor detail. Just as I'm about to leave I get a phone call telling me the class is cancelled this week. They are going to do it next week instead. I'm gutted, I'm going to be in hospital next week. Never mind, I'll pop into the shop anyway and get the bits I need to finish it off at home. While I'm there I can go into a few shops and suss out the whole pj situation and try and get a handle on what might be suitable attire for the hospital stay.
I headed to hospital and that was all fine. I don't think I like my picc line very much. It's not sore but it's uncomfortable and it's a pain because I'm not to get it wet. I haven't been brave enough to have a shower yet but I'm going to have to try. Apparently the secret is to wrap your arm in cling film. I've heard of people wrapping their entire bodies in cling film, I think, or did I dream that?!?I've been reading 50 shades like the rest of the female population, did cling film come into that somewhere? No, I think it was a mud warp thing at a spa I saw on the telly. How on earth do you wrap your arm in cling film with just one arm? I'm going to give it some thought, have a go later and report back to you.
As I leave the hospital there is an almighty roar above my head that stops me in my tracks, it's the red arrows. Brilliant, I'd forgotten that today they were appearing at Goodwood Festival of Speed and as it's only a few miles from the hospital I can see it all from where I am. It's very cool and I stand watching for a good 10 mins or so until I suddenly remember that I've already paid for my parking ticket and now I'm not sure if it will still work, I mean how long do they give you to get back to your car once you've paid? I convince myself it must be a decent amount of time because sometimes people have to limp back with injured legs and all sorts. New parents leaving the maternity ward have to work out how to fit a baby carrier in the car for the first time and than can take quite some doing, they've got to allow atleast 15 mins for that (20 mins if it's a man trying to do it). I think it's probably not long enough to watch a full red arrows arial display though. I clamber in and breathe a sigh of relief as I feed the parking card into the machine and the big arm swings up to let me out.
After popping in to the sewing shop to get the bits I need I have loads of time still, and as I'm right in the middle of Chichester I think I might have a quick look in a shop or two to see if I can sort out this pj predicament. Mum gave me some nice pj's from Next at christmas and as it's literally across the street so that's where I head. I spend a good 10 mins walking in, out, backwards, forwards and around the clothing stands but I can't see pj's anywhere. I can't believe it. A shop assistant comes up and asks me if I've lost something. "No, I'm just trying to find some pj's" I reply very matter-of-factly.
Looking at me as if I've suddenly grown horns and told her her mother is a moose she says "It's summer time madam, we don't stock them in the shops in the summer."
My brain is going into overdrive, why on earth do shops not have pj's in the summer? Am I missing something here, has somebody forgotten to tell me that there's an unwritten rule and that we're not suppose to wear jammies in the summer? Does everybody in Britain go to bed in the bollocky buff for the months of June, July and August except me? I don't think so!! Even if they do, I don't think the hospital would be very impressed if I went in and spent the entire fortnight completely starkers. This is not going well. The assistant tells me I can order them online, but that's not the point, I want to see them first. I leave the shop empty handed.
I've come to the conclusion that the person in charge of what goes on the shop floors must live in a different country (somewhere hot where they really do get summers) because they are failing to note one very very important bit of information: this is Britain, we don't get hot summers, we're lucky if we get summers at all, we're lucky if we get a few rain free days never mind weeks on end of the scorching stuff. As I write, half the country is under water, a huge chunk of the train line is closed between England and Scotland, the field across the road is submerged, my nieces school has flooded because it rained so much the drains backed up and all the loos worked in reverse. I think I may have to start a campaign for bringing back pj's in the british summer time.
I leave the shop empty handed and more than a little miffed. All this pj palava has exhausted me and I'm going home. On the way back to the car I pass a shoe shop so pop in to see if I can get some cosie slipper for hospital. Unbelievable.....they don't stock slippers in the summer. No comment.
On the way back to the car I have to pass two chocolate shops and not just any old chocolate shops: Hotel Chocolat and Montezumas. I tell myself I must not go in but I can look in the windows. OOh yum, I stop and survey the new flavours they have and they look scrumptious. I must prove to myself I have will power and walk away. I've done it, i've walked past the chocolate shops and not gone in, hurrah for me, pat on the back and give myself a high five. As a reward, I go back and buy myself a bar of chocolate.
I've got two more days to sort out the pj predicament, that's fine. I'm home by mid afternoon. I spend the rest of the day baking a huge chocolate cake and take over the fence to the dentist. When I get back Andy is on the phone and it sounds like he's speaking to my consultant. I look at the clock and wonder why she's phoning at 5pm? Andy puts the phone down and looks at me, something is wrong.
"There is no ATG in the country, they're not able to start your treatment on Monday" he tells me.
"But I was just there a few hours ago, they said everything was fine and Monday was a go-er and I've got this bloody hosepipe in my arm now". Talk about stating the obvious. Turns out ATG is quite a rare drug and in demand. They also use it for organ transplant patients if they start to reject the donor organs. The next batch is coming into the country on the 13July which means a wait of another fornight. I am disappointed but in the grand scale of things it's not that bad, looking on the bright side the advantages are:
1. I get to go to Dougal's prize giving on Thursday and see him get his certificate
2.I can go and finish my giant cushion
3.I will be here when my big brother, his wife and cousin Millie come to stay next Monday.
4.More time to go on pj hunt
5.More time to bake
So, no hospital on Monday, well not for a residential trip anyway. I think I may well have to go in for a transfusion as it's 5 weeks since I had one now and I'm starting to get quite tired. They also mentioned something about having to flush the picc line. I'm pretending I didn't hear that though, don't like the sound of that much, especially after hearing the story of cousin Millies school loos working in reverse with the flooding. Anywords loo related (such as FLUSH), make me squirm.
It's Friday night, all is well in the world, Dougal is a munchkin in the school play and tomorrow the sun is going to shine, Andy Murray is playing at Wimbledon and best of all, Moo is coming to stay on Sunday. I might have to apologise for calling him a tube but with a bit of luck he'll have forgotten that.
Tally-ho, I'm off to have an arm wrestle with the cling film I let you know how I get on......
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